How Each Myers-Briggs Type Handles Feelings of Betrayal
Everyone has been betrayed in their life, it can be a truly painful experience. Some people weather those feelings of betrayal much better than others. Here is how we believe you will react to being betrayed according to your personality type.
INFJs are very caring individuals who enjoy helping others, but they do not let people in very easily. It takes a lot for an INFJ to trust someone enough to let that person hurt them. Because of this INFJs often do not handle the feeling of betrayal well. They give a lot to others and often invest a lot of their energy into understanding their friends and loved ones. When the INFJ allows someone in and shares parts of themselves with this person, it is a very intense and meaningful experience. When someone that they care for betrays the INFJ they feel extremely hurt. If the person’s actions were very intense the INFJ may feel very angry towards them and want to lash out. INFJs can be very intense individuals when they are angry and are capable of truly making others regret their betrayal. Most likely the INFJ will retreat and cut off contact from this person. They will attempt to remove themselves from the hurt and will probably take time to mourn the loss of that relationship. It is almost like a death to an INFJ when they go through a strong betrayal.
ENFJs are very giving individuals, and will often go to great lengths to make others happy. When an ENFJ cares for someone there is not much that they won’t do to make them happy. When someone betrays the ENFJ they will probably become very upset and may attempt to shut off all emotions towards that person. They may react with anger, and try to express to this person just how wrong their actions were. Eventually the ENFJ will distance themselves from the person who hurt them, and will hope to move on from it. They take their relationships very seriously and do not handle betrayal well. They may need to vent to friends, and will need time to fully move on from the situation.
INFPs take their personal relationships very seriously. INFPs desire to have meaningful and deep connections with people. Once they develop trust with someone it is important not to break that trust. They have a strong sense of morals, and often do not want to surround themselves with people who lack loyalty. If someone exhibits such nasty behavior the INFP probably will have a hard time ever trusting that person again. They care very deeply about others and become extremely hurt when they are betrayed. Because of this the INFP will probably have a very hard time letting anyone else in for a while. They will need time to regroup and heal from the damage that has been done.
ENFPs are often very surprised by betrayal and cannot understand why someone would want to hurt them. They are caring and fun individuals, who often see the best in others. They are always concerned with how their actions affect others, and truly do not want to hurt someone else. ENFPs often have very big hearts and are open and communicative individuals. When someone betrays the ENFP they will probably attempt to pretend like they are not hurt and retreat from the situation. ENFPs are very perceptive, but often overlook other people’s negative traits. When they care for someone they can be unaware of an oncoming betrayal. The ENFP may attempt to understand why the other person betrayed them, and may seek counsel from others.
INTJs will often react to betrayal by removing that person from their lives. The INTJ may first attempt to understand why this person betrayed them. If their reasoning is clearly an accident and the person seems to deserve a second chhance, the INTJ can be understanding and forgiving. If the person seems as though they will continue this negative behavior the INTJ sees no logic in keeping them around. They realize that the betrayals will just continue and find it wise to stop that from happening. In cases where the person is just exhibiting nasty behavior the INTJ feels no remorse in removing this person from their lives and completely shutting the door on them.
ENTJs do not take betrayal well at all. Loyalty is extremely important to an ENTJ, and they do not have patience for people who betray them. They want to have people in their lives that they can trust and rely on completely. ENTJs often are very loyal to the people close to them, and expect this in return. When someone betrays the ENTJ they will most likely become very angry. They will express to this person just how wrong they are, and may attempt to make them realize how badly they have screwed up. ENTJs may be vengeful at first, but once this rage dissipates they will probably just remove this person from their lives.
INTPs do not put their trust in people very easily and because of this are very hurt by betrayal. They often take a long time to warm up to people, and truly make others work to gain their trust. INTPs are very capable of seeing others true intentions, and because of this they are usually thrown off when people betray them. If they are betrayed it is probably because they trusted someone against their better judgment. They invest a lot in their close relationships and may be forced to step away once someone betrays them. They are willing to understand others actions though, and after some space from this person, the INTP may be capable of forgiving depending on where the betrayal came from.
When an ENTP is betrayed they often become angry and want to seek vengeance. After a short time though they often becoming disinterested and bored by the idea, and realize it is pointless. Once the ENTP has had time to cool down they are very capable of moving on from a betrayal. They realize that most people are not fully capable of loyalty, and they often expect some sort of betrayal from others. They often find holding grudges against these people to be a waste of their energy, and would much rather continue on with their lives. They have too many valuable distractions in their world to focus on someone else’s negative actions.
ISTJs are very loyal individuals and take their commitments very seriously. They are careful to be reliable friends and do what they can to avoid betraying others. They will be very upset if someone that they trust does something to betray them. The ISTJ will logically assess the situation and decide whether they should forgive this person or not. If it was a small betrayal they will most likely forgive them, but will adjust their behaviors to avoid letting this happen again. If the persons betrayal is too much the ISTJ will most likely remove this person from their lives.
ESTJs are often very loyal and strongly dislike being betrayed by others. They will probably become hurt at first but have a tendency to move on when someone betrays their trust. The ESTJ will likely just alter their behavior to avoid being hurt by this person again. They do not like cutting people out of their lives, and will often struggle with doing so. They strive to build a community and want to be able to maintain a sense of control and structure.
ISFJs are very caring and loyal individuals, and take betrayal very personally. When someone close to them betrays them it hurts the ISFJ very deeply. They often have a hard time understanding why someone would betray them and may struggle with letting this go. Even if they do forgive someone, ISFJs have a tendency to have a hard time fully forgetting the betrayal. They may continue to hold it against someone and might bring it up when further arguments occur. They are very conscious of how their actions affect others, and do not appreciate when the people close to them cannot be as aware as they are.
ESFJs give a lot of themselves to the people close to them, because of this they do not handle betrayal well at all. ESFJs have a tendency to pretend they are not affected when someone hurts them, in an attempt to shield themselves from the pain. ESFJs are very caring and warm, but can often flip a switch and turn cold when someone hurts them deeply. They give a lot to the people around them, and become extremely upset when those people take this for granted. ESFJs are capable of removing people from their lives who betray them deeply. They will often do this as a way to avoid being hurt again, although they may feel guilty over it.
ISTPs are very laid-back and because of this can often be forgiving when others hurt them. They will logically attempt to understand the betrayal, and where the other person was coming from. Once they come to a conclusion the ISTP is often capable of forgiving and understanding that everyone makes mistakes. They rarely allow people to get close enough to truly betray them, and are very hard to offend or hurt.
ESTPs often become very offended by betrayal and may not handle it very well. They do have a tendency to hold grudges and may struggle with forgiving others. They often remember every little detail of another person’s actions, and have a hard time letting go of these memories. ESTPs might cut someone out of their life when they feel betrayed by them, in an attempt to shield themselves from further hurt.
ISFPs are very forgiving individuals, and are very capable of accepting someone back into their lives after they have been betrayed. They do not forget when they have been hurt by someone, and will attempt to shield themselves from that hurt once again by adjusting their behavior around the betrayer. ISFPs prefer not to hold grudges and are capable of understanding that everyone makes mistakes. It takes a lot for them to cut someone out of their lives, normally they would prefer to move on from the betrayal. ISFPs may struggle with completely forgetting when they have been betrayed, even though they attempt to completely forget about it.
ESFPs really hate the feeling of being betrayed and even more so hate not being able to let go of betrayal. They want to enjoy their lives and prefer to have fun. They dislike being bogged down by negativity, especially if it is because someone has wronged them. ESFPs want to be able to forgive, but sometimes they struggle with this. They may forgive someone openly, but secretly hold a grudge against them.