ENFJ Energy Vampire & Dealing with the Energy Vampire

Being around an energy vampire can be one of the most emotionally and mentally exhausting experiences. They have a way of sucking all the air out of the room, even if they aren’t being obvious about it. Energy vampires have a way of making the situation about them, and playing the victim is their specialty. They are great at getting sympathy from others, and some people are very susceptible to this type of behavior. The more empathetic or caring someone is, the more they become a target to the energy vampire. These people take from those around them without ever giving in return, which is something that becomes very draining after a while, even for the most giving of people.

ENFJs are caring people who want to help those around them, this can certainly cause them to be a target of someone who is an energy vampire. Since they give so much of themselves to others, they are viewed as someone who will help without becoming drained, but this isn’t true. ENFJs become just as drained as anyone else, maybe even more so because they are likely already more exhausted than people realize. ENFJs simply try and put on a happy face and push themselves, even when they are drained and ready to crash themselves. They don’t want to be someone who seems weak or incapable, and they certainly don’t want to let anyone down because of it.

ENFJs and Energy Vampires

When it comes to dealing with energy vampires, the ENFJ might attempt to exhaust themselves helping them. When someone appears to be hurting or in need of comfort, ENFJs want to do their best to make them feel better. They might spend a lot of their own energy trying to make this person happy, which can feel like a losing battle. At times this can become even more draining for the ENFJ, since they don’t like feeling as if they have failed. This energy vampire will see that the ENFJ is supportive and helpful and might try to latch onto that positivity and compassion. This is challenging for the ENFJ, since they don’t want to hurt people or push them away when they are in need. They can have a bit of a savior complex, especially when they are younger. It is difficult for them to turn someone down when they are asking for help or comfort from the ENFJ. They care about people and want to do what they can to make them happy, especially those closest to them. 

While ENFJs might care about helping people and wanting to be supportive, they still can become just as drained as anyone else. Since so much of their time and energy is spent on others, they are very susceptible to being drained by someone like the energy vampire. They might find themselves trying to push forward when they are already feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. ENFJs aren’t always great at caring for themselves since they focus so much on caring for others. So when the ENFJ gets around someone who is extra draining, they find themselves feeling overwhelmed quickly. This is something they might try to overcome but it really isn’t something they should allow themselves to deal with. Learning to protect their peace of mind and not exhaust themselves, is something which is important for the ENFJ. Wanting to help is certainly a good thing, but not to the point where they are hurting themselves in the process.

The ENFJ Energy Vampire

Of course any personality type can be an energy vampire, and this isn’t attributed to type. Since this is the case, there are certain ENFJs which can be energy vampires themselves. This often happens when the ENFJ has spent their lives focusing on everyone else, to the point where they feel a bit lost about themselves. They becomes exhausted from helping others, and so this leaves them feeling depleted and needing to find a way to latch onto others. This version of the ENFJ seeks out people who will give them the attention and comfort they need, but it can be expressed in sometimes manipulative ways. They want to keep these people close and so they try to manipulate the situation so that they don’t lose their energy source. They don’t realize they are being a drain on others, and really don’t recognize this behavior in themselves. Most energy vampires are not at all aware that they are exhausting those around them, since it isn’t usually don’t intentionally. ENFJs want to help people, but the ENFJ who has pushed too hard, or is neglecting something painful from their past, can certainly be an energy vampire to those around them.

How to Handle Them

For the ENFJ to deal with energy vampires, they need to set boundaries which is not easy for them. They want to help everyone, but this is not something that they can do without pushing themselves to a breaking point. They need to recognize that they have done everything they can, and that some people just need to take care of their own problems. Setting these boundaries is vital for the ENFJ to have peace of mind in their lives. They focus so much on helping others, and so it is only fair that they take time to help themselves. Without caring about their own well-being, the ENFJ will become so exhausted that they can’t properly help the people they love. They need to consider what this means for them, and create distance between themselves and the people who only leave them feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Of course being a caring and giving person is a good thing, but that doesn’t mean they have an endless well-source of energy. Instead the ENFJ needs to take time for themselves in order to recharge, without feeling guilty over this choice. The people who truly care won’t be upset, instead they will likely help the ENFJ get away from the people and things which drain them.