INTJ Jealousy: How the INTJ Copes with Jealous Emotions

Just about anyone can experience feelings of jealousy, but each person is likely to process these feelings differently. When it comes to being jealous there are so many things which can spur this type of response from people. We each have our own unique triggers which can set of these emotions deep inside, and the first step to processing these feelings is recognizing them. It is important to take the time to dive into those emotions and understand them well enough to figure out how to maintain a sense of control over this jealousy instead of allowing it to take over.

When it comes to jealousy INTJs really do try to avoid allowing these emotions to control their behaviors. They do their best to make decisions based on facts and information, but that doesn’t mean they are immune to experiencing jealousy. INTJs definitely don’t want others to believe that they are jealous or capable of feeling this way, but they do feel these emotions even if they try to bury them. For the INTJ it can be rather frustrating to experience feelings they want to avoid or can’t quite run from, and so they try their best to find logical solutions which can help them push through.

What Makes Them Jealous

INTJs become jealous when something makes them feel inadequate in some way. When the INTJ feels like they aren’t living up to their potential and something is making them feel weak, then they can easily become jealous of those who are achieving more. INTJs have high expectations for themselves and so anything which prevents them from achieving their goals can cause them internal grief. It is important for the INTJ to be the best at what they do, and they really don’t like feeling as if they failed. They do believe in constantly improving, and because of this they always see room to grow and be better. Where they become frustrated, is when they feel like they are not achieving what they should be at that point in their lives. For the INTJ seeing the people around them achieve more simply because they have been handed benefits which help make the process easier, can be truly unnerving. Especially if this person is given things without having to actually work for those accomplishments. This can make the INTJ feel a sense of envy, but not because they want to be handed things for free. They simply want the situation to be just and fair, and not cause them to work hard for no reason at all.

INTJs might deny their ability to become jealous of a loved one, but that doesn’t mean this never occurs. They try their best to focus on facts and not allow their emotions to get the better of them in these situations. On occasion the INTJ does feel jealous towards their partner when they feel like this person is not sharing or being open with them. They want to feel like they are important in their relationship and can provide some sort of value to the other person. For the INTJ feeling undervalued by their romantic partner can cause them to feel a sense of jealousy, especially if they are turning to someone else for answers or help. INTJs want to feel like they are valued and appreciated for their abilities, and so they might experience jealousy when their partner doesn’t show this to them. 

How They Cope

INTJs can become jealous or envious of what others have, but they try to deal with this in different ways. While some people become jealous and it gets them feeling bad about themselves, the INTJ takes this as a way to inspire them to improve. They are constantly trying to progress and make themselves better and so they use this as a means of doing so. They try their best to keep pushing forward and constantly learn and grow. For the INTJ wanting what someone else has doesn’t cause them to feel a sense of frustration, instead it causes them to feel inspired and eager to obtain those things. They learn how to observe their surroundings in order to figure out what they want and how they can best achieve these goals. This is something which helps the INTJ to overcome jealousy in a lot of situations, and makes them more focused on results rather than inner emotions.

How to Improve

For the INTJ the biggest struggle is learning to accept their feelings, instead of trying to reason them away. When they are feeling a sense of jealousy which might not be rational, they need to be more accepting of these feelings. Allowing themselves time to really dive into these emotions can be challenging but still important for the INTJ. They need to trust in their ability to move on once they are done sifting through these feelings, and realize that it won’t start to control them simply because they pay a little attention to their feelings.

INTJs can learn how to better overcome this sense of jealous if they express it towards their partner. When they become more open with those feelings it can be a great way to connect with their loved ones and eventually move on from what is going on. Instead of burying those emotions and causing tension, the INTJ will do better if they appreciate them for what they are. Feelings don’t have to be explained or make sense, they are simply part of being human. For the INTJ most situations need a logical explanation and so sometimes they can benefit from accepting that emotions don’t always have answers or make sense in the practical ways they are used to.