Written By Kirsten Moodie
Here’s How You Feel About Unrequited Love, According to Your Personality Type
The feelings of unrequited love can be rather painful for some people. Just knowing that they cannot have something that might have been very special to them, can leave some people feeling immobilized. Here is how each personality type feels about unrequited love.
INFJs can hold onto feelings of unrequited love, and the experience will likely stay with them. They can be idealistic people, so having that vision to hold onto is almost better than the real thing sometimes. The INFJ might pine for a love that they never really had, and will imagine the possibilities that exist within that romance. They find themselves struggling with the missed romance, but at the same time they might prefer this to diving into the real thing. It can hurt even worse for the INFJ knowing that they missed out on something that could have been spectacular.
ENFJs can become frustrated by the experience of unrequited love, and in some ways it might feel like a failure. They want to be able to connect with someone and make a lasting bond. When they experience unrequited love it can be very painful, and almost like they have failed at something. ENFJs aren’t afraid to go after what they want, and this includes tier relationships. If they truly care for someone the ENFJ will work hard to find a way to bring that person into their lives. If this fails despite their best efforts, it can be truly heartbreaking for the ENFJ.
INFPs are imaginative people, which can make the experience of unrequited love a bit different for them. While the INFP does want to experience a real relationship, the feeling of being in love with someone they cannot have might be intriguing to them. The appeal of unrequited love, is that feeling of being able to fantasize the possibilities in an idealistic way, without reality crashing in on them. No matter how great the love is, relationships have struggles which sometimes lessen the idealistic feel that exists in the beginning. For INFPs it can be more upsetting to lose those feelings of butterflies, but with unrequited love they never quite go away.
ENFPs can hold onto an unrequited love for a long time, and might have that person on their mind often. If things simply don’t come together, the ENFP might hold out a sense of hope that it can work out in the future. This might not be something they openly express, but will likely be a thought they have a hard time getting over completely. If the ENFP gets an opportunity to connect with this person in the future, they will likely take advantage of it. While they do have vivid imaginations, they also want to experience the things they feel they’ve missed out on.
INTJs rarely find themselves hung up on something that never actually happened, and won’t hold out a delusional idea about it. They don’t want to find themselves feeling caught up in something they haven’t truly experienced, and don’t become idealistic about it. INTJs realize that no relationship is going to be perfect, and won’t have some delusional idea that something could be as perfect as it feels in the beginning. Because of this realistic idea of love, INTJs likely won’t find themselves plagued by sadness over an unrequited love.
ENTJs are not the type to become hung up on something that never actually happened. They can become frustrated if they feel as though they let someone get away, but won’t let it plague them. ENTJs will simply learn from the situation and try harder to make it happen the next time around. They are focused on moving towards the future and don’t want to become hung up on potential romance. For the ENTJ it is more important to focus on what is real, and what truly matters to them.
INTPs can sometimes feel upset by unrequited love, especially since they can be hesitant to make a move on someone they care for. They might not show this openly, but it can bother them feeling like they missed out on something. INTPs want to experience life and try to seize opportunities when they can. Feeling like they let someone go who could have been special to them, can be a bit bothersome for the INTP. They might not find themselves obsessing over it constantly, but it might be upsetting when they encounter that individual later on.
ENTPs try not to let themselves get distracted by feelings of regret, but they can feel bothered by missed opportunities. While ENTPs are logical people, they do have an inner romantic who is hoping to find someone to connect with. If they feel like they have let someone go who could have been special to them, it can certain bother the ENTP. They can become hung up on the past when they are under high levels of stress, and might find themselves dragging up old memories.
While ISTJs aren’t the most romantic people, they are very connected to the past. They can find themselves wondering what might have come of a romance that they let slip away. The ISTJ will certainly try to learn from this experience, and will take advantage of any future opportunities with this special person. While ISTJs don’t want to get hung up on failed relationships, they do struggle when it comes to letting go of the past. ISTJs want to feel connected to their loved ones, and will let go of that unrequited love when they find someone to commit to.
ESTJs can become hung up on the past, and truly dislike missed opportunities. They might feel like they have failed if they didn’t make things work with a past romance that felt special to them. For ESTJs it is important to remain focused on building a positive future, even though their minds can become distracted by the past. They will try to move on when they feel like they have missed out on something, but will certainly take it as a learning experience.
ISFJs do find themselves connected to the past, and might hold onto an unrequited love. When things seem a bit dark in their current relationships the ISFJ will find themselves remembering that past romance that never quite happened. They might even compare each romance to that one, always wondering if that might have been the one. ISFJs are practical people but when it comes to being in love they can lose their sense of reality.
ESFJs can definitely feel a bit upset about the experience of unrequited love, and dislike feeling as though they missed out on something. They may find themselves imaging the potential outcomes, wishing they had done something differently. ESFJs will likely remember those situations and try not to let it happen again in the future. If they get a chance with that person again the ESFJ might become rather forward, in hopes that they can make it work.
ISTPs are realistic people who don’t come up with fanciful ideas about romance. They would rather focus on what is real and live actively in the present moment. ISTPs are fully aware that the magic in unrequited love remains in the fact that they never get to see the flaws in the relationship. They won’t find themselves hung up on something they haven’t actually experience firsthand.
ESTPs try not to obsess over unrequited romances, and want to feel connected to what is real. For ESTPs it is important to focus on what they can change instead of obsessing over the past. There may be times when they remember that love, and imagine what might have been if things had worked out. In most situations though ESTPs won’t pine for someone, and would rather live in the present and experience things for real.
ISFPs can definitely find themselves feeling connected to an unrequited love. They can become upset thinking about what might have been, and find themselves connected to those feelings. They might even compare their current relationships to their unrequited romance. For ISFPs finding true love is important, and can leave them feeling all tied up. They want to find someone who makes them feel truly inspired, which can make the idealism of an unrequited love more satisfying.
ESFPs can definitely become emotional when it comes to an unrequited love. They find themselves daydreaming about that person and what might have been. They are romantic people, who follow their hearts when it comes to making decisions. They might find themselves reminiscing about a past romance that never really worked out, and will likely compare it to their current relationships. ESFPs will find themselves remembering an unrequited love when they feel like things aren’t quite working out currently.