The Things That Make Each Myers-Briggs Type Sad and How They Can Cope
What makes the types sad, how they respond and how they can cope.
Even the strongest and most guarded individuals experience levels of sadness. Not everyone is saddened by the same tings, and not everyone deals with their pain the same. In this article we discuss the things that make each personality type sad, how they often respond to this sadness and the best ways for them to cope.
INFJs often become sad at more pressing issues than just a bad hair day. They see things like injustices that occur in the world and feel deeply hurt by them. They become sad when people are hurtful to each other and do not care for one another like they should. Outright disrespecting someone for being different is something that upsets them as well. Mostly, they are hurt by people’s coldness and their inability to see past more than their own needs. INFJs also become sad if they feel like they aren’t meeting their full potential and making a true difference in the world.
INFJs often do not feel a strong aversion to the things that make them sad. They are capable of finding beauty in the saddest things and can often find hope within them. They often realize that sadness is just as valid an emotion as joy, and that it is important to experience that in life to better understand yourself and others. Sadness can be an opportunity to authentically connect with others.
The best way for an INFJ to overcome their sadness is by finding people to connect with. When they open up to people who are giving and caring, it will help give the INFJ hope for the future. Being able to trust someone and witness that person respect that trust, is important. If the INFJ is opened up to the kinder side of the world, they will be able to bounce back from those things that make them sad.
ENFJs become sad when they feel like they aren’t meeting other people’s needs. They become unhappy at the sight of their loved ones in peril and they feel powerless to stop it. They strive to see the good in others but become very sad when people do not do the same for them. It makes the ENFJ sad when they feel like their loved ones do not appreciate their efforts. They want to make a difference in the world and it is hard for them if they feel like they aren’t accomplishing this.
When the ENFJ is sad they often feel very overwhelmed by it. It will either make them feel stressed out and bogged down or completely apathetic. They often try to shut down their emotions so that they can get the job done and that only makes the situations worse. Sadness is something that the ENFJ can often push through, and continue to strive for success.
The best way for the ENFJ to handle their sadness is by accepting that it is there. ENFJs often ignore their own emotions and that can sometimes cause problems. By acknowledging that they are hurting, they can proceed towards moving on from it. The best way to pull out of it, is by surrounding themselves with people who truly love and appreciate them. Spending some time doing the things that they love most with the people that they love most.
INFPs often become sad when they witness injustices in the world. They hate feeling like people are being wronged and there is nothing they can do to change it. They want things to be right and fair in the world. INFPs also become sad if they feel like they have hurt or offended someone else. They are very caring individuals and hate feeling like they have wronged someone. They want to be a positive impact on the world, not a negative one. They become sad when they feel like they are trapped in a downward and destructive cycle in their lives and do not know how to break out of it. Feeling like someone they care for doesn’t understand or appreciate them for who they are is upsetting for them as well. One of the saddest things for an INFP is witnessing untapped potential in people, and feeling as if it will never be utilized.
INFPs often will withdraw when they are feeling sad. After some time experiencing and working to understand their own sadness, the INFP might reach out to people very close to them. They are not afraid of sadness and are willing to experience it if they have to. They may become expressive to certain people, as a means of opening up about how they are feeling.
The best way for an INFP to overcome their sadness, is by trying to attach meaning to their experience. If the INFP realizes that they can use their sadness to help and connect with others, it will make them feel much better. Knowing that they felt that pain for a reason, is a good way for them to see the positive side of it. Sharing how they are feeling with someone close to them can help them feel understood and realize that what they are going through is okay. It might also help the INFP to write down what they are experiencing.
ENFPs might experience sadness for a multitude of reasons. They often feel sad when they feel like they aren’t understanding or connecting with people that they care for. When they witness people being harmed on the news or in their own lives the ENFP becomes very bothered. ENFPs might even connect with a book or music that makes them feel sadness. Seeing someone being held back and are incapable of reaching their potential will make the ENFP unhappy. They want to see others succeed and be happy and being held back from experiencing life is upsetting to them. Intense feelings of loneliness are probably one of the worst things for an ENFP.
ENFPs have a deep capacity for emotion and this of course includes sadness. They are not averse to this emotion, and probably have learned how to handle it over the years. They often try to stay positive and see the bright side of things, even when it is challenging. They want to make others feel happy and at ease, so they often search for others to help them stay positive.
The best way for an ENFP to overcome their sadness is by drawing close to others. Sometimes a distraction is a good thing for an ENFP. Going out with friends and experiencing something new and fun is a great way to pull an ENFP out of their slump. If they feel like they are loved and supported the ENFP will be able to overcome anything. Writing their emotions down on paper or finding a creative outlet is often helpful. And hugs. Lots and lots of hugs.
INTJs may not be the most emotional people, but just like anyone they experience sadness. Something that makes the INTJ feel sadness and frustration, is when society’s lack of understanding and knowledge begins to create unnecessary pain. When they feel like others are being incompetent and because of this it is causing innocent people harm. They can see how these things can be fixed and become upset that it continues to occur. Seeing people be completely incapable of doing something because of physical ailments, are upsetting to an INTJ. INTJs hold their hurt or sadness very personally, and often become upset by things that they can connect with on a deeper level.
INTJs are often stoic and unemotional individuals, but that does not mean they are incapable of sadness. They just have a hard time outwardly expressing those emotions to others. They may become withdrawn or apathetic to the things that normally excite them. They will probably retreat to their room, where they feel like they won’t be judged by others for feeling this way. Sometimes INTJs may lash out in their sadness without even realizing they are doing so.
Sometimes the best way to overcome their sadness is by exploring new avenues in their lives. Seeking comfort in learning about something exciting and positive. Too much existential thought can drag the INTJ down, so breaking that pattern can be useful. Trying to see the positives in life by reaching out to someone who understands what they are going through and wants to help bring them through it.
ENTJS become very sad when they feel like there is a lack of loyalty in the world. If they feel as though they cannot trust the people close to them to be trustworthy and loyal to them, it is very upsetting for the ENTJ. Feeling betrayed is one of the worst experiences for an ENTJ, since they merely want people to be there for them and they will give the same in return. Feeling like the people who they should be able to trust have turned on them, is awful.
ENTJs often become stoic and reserved when they are sad. They do not show emotion easily and may even become angry in response to their pain. They might lash out and act as though they are not upset, pretending to be impervious to vulnerability. This is not because they are cold, but mostly because they feel very strongly. They dislike being vulnerable and appearing as though they have been affected by someone emotionally.
The best way for the ENTJ to overcome this sadness is by accepting it. Dwelling on the emotion is never good, but denying it completely does not allow them to heal. Betrayal is often what sets off the ENTJs sadness, so finding something that restores their belief in others will help. They have to keep sight of what matters and not allow themselves to lose faith in people. They have to find that there are good people in the world who will try their best not to disappoint them. But the fact is everyone is flawed and that is something that the ENTJ may need to accept.
INTPs often become sad when they lose sight of the positives in life. Their ability to see things accurately often can cause the INTP to dwell on all the negative aspects of the world. They may feel hopeless, like there is little point to anything if people always let each other down. They often become sad if they feel like they aren’t making a difference or helping people enough in their lives. They become sad when they feel like they aren’t reaching their full potential in the world. Seeing other people in pain or seeing those people with illnesses that cannot be mended, is frustrating and upsetting for an INTP. INTPs may also feel sad if they believe other people are misunderstanding them and their intentions. And of course stupidity.
When an INTP is sad they may appear apathetic and disinterested. They might retreat to their room and close themselves off from others in an attempt to regroup. They don’t want to feel judged for being sad, and often feel foolish because they are upset. They dislike being vulnerable, especially if they feel like people will judge them for it. They often attempt to make sense of emotion and logic it away, and are frustrated when they cannot do so.
The best way for the INTP to overcome sadness is by accepting that it is okay. They need to realize that there is nothing wrong with their emotions, and that those feelings don’t always require a logical explanation. Reaching out to someone who understands and appreciates them is a good way to pull themselves out of their slump. Viewing another perspective that is different from their own, might help the INTP understand their own emotions better. Changing up their patterns and trying new things may help the INTP let go of what was bothering them.
Feeling immense guilt over someone else’s pain will make the ENTP very sad. If they feel like they have upset or harmed someone by their actions, the ENTP will feel guilty. When the ENTP feels like they cannot do anything to change or better a situation it may make them experience great sadness. Seeing someone experiencing intense physical pain that cannot be stopped or fixed. ENTPs may feel emotional when they are faced with an extreme challenge or personal fear that they struggle to overcome.
Although they do not openly express it ENTPs are very caring and often experience levels of sadness. ENTPs often attempt to make light of their sadness. They tend to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from how they are feeling. They will express their sadness to others in a joking manner, so that they cannot truly be judged for it. Trying to make light of their sadness and turn it into a sarcastic punchline is how the ENTP copes.
The best way to overcome this sadness is by enjoying the company of their friends. Finding someone who understands and experiences things the same way, and is willing to let the ENTP be themselves without pushing them to express it before they are ready. Enjoying new experiences and rebuilding belief in themselves is a good way to mend the sadness.
ISTJs experience sadness the strongest when the people close to them are sick or not doing well. Seeing others in physical pain makes the ISTJ very unhappy, especially if they cannot do anything to help it. Feeling powerless and incompetent is very upsetting to the ISTJ. If the ISTJ feels like they have little hope for a positive future, this will make them feel very sad. They want to be able to achieve their goals and fulfil their duties, and lacking hope for that is very bothersome.
ISTJs do not typically struggle with sadness and tend to find reasons to stay positive. They often lack an understanding of their own emotions and may not even realize when they are sad. When they do feel sad they tend to seek out friends to vent their frustrations to. Although they are introverted they tend to draw closer to people in their darkest times. They are not the most outwardly expressive people and will usually avoid breaking down, but just discussing the topic is helpful for them.
Being aware of their own sadness is the first step to overcoming for the ISTJ. They do not often realize when they are sad because they are not entirely in touch with these emotions. When they do realize it, they tend to understand very well how to cope and move on from what is making them sad. Talking to loved ones and making better plans for the future will help them greatly.
ESTJs feel sad when they believe they are not accomplishing their goals. If they feel held back or like they are failing at life, it will make them unhappy. The worst thing for an ESTJ is when they feel like they are failing to fulfill their duties for their family financially and are not providing for them properly. Being unable to be supportive and helpful to their family or community. Feelings of inadequacy are very bothersome to the ESTJ.
ESTJs do not express emotions easily and often struggle with handling their own feelings. When they are sad the ESTJ may lash out and express this sadness with anger. If they become angry and seek to blame others for these failings, the ESTJ feels like they can shift those feelings of guilt. They do not do this intentionally and often do not even understand why they are behaving this way.
The best way for the ESTJ to overcome sadness is through acceptance. They need people around them who will not judge them or make them feel wrong for feeling this way. They need to let go of whatever is making them feel guilty or upset and realize that they cannot do everything on their own. Seeking others to help them get through whatever is making them sad is the best plan for the ESTJ.
ISFJs become very hurt by other people’s harshness and coldness. If someone is blatantly hurting others, ISFJs instantly feel sad by this. They hate seeing people lash out at one another, and always feel like there should be a better way to handle the situation. Seeing other people in pain of any kind is very upsetting to the ISFJ. They enjoy seeing others happy and seek to create harmony. If they feel like they aren’t achieving this harmony within their family or community, the ISFJ will become very unhappy.
ISFJs may retreat inward and shut themselves out from others when they feel extremely saddened. They will probably attempt to fix whatever problem is occurring that is making them feel this way. They will work hard to make everyone happy and try to mend the harm that may have been done. Seeking to fix everyone’s pain is how the ISFJ attempts to cope with sadness.
The best way for the ISFJ to overcome their sadness is by realizing that they cannot do everything. They are not responsible for everyone, and it is not their fault that people can sometimes be cruel to others. ISFJs are very caring and sometimes that can cause them pain. Seeking out comfort from their loved and attempting to see the good that they have done in other’s lives, is a great way to keep the ISFJ be positive.
ESFJs feel the most sadness when they feel completely powerless to help their loved ones. Feeling as though they cannot meet their own standards is very challenging and upsetting for the ESFJ. They want to be everything to everyone and sometimes that can wear them down. Being unable to be the best person possible for their loved ones, is heartbreaking for an ESFJ. If they feel like they have let people down and are not making those people feel loved and happy, they feel like complete failures.
When the ESFJ is sad they are most likely to ignore it. They will continue to pretend like everything is okay for as long as they can. Because they are so often focused on other people’s emotions, the ESFJ can forget that they even have feelings of their own. Eventually this disregard will catch up with them and will often be expressed in different ways. A sad ESFJ will probably appear apathetic and grumpy without even realizing it. They will unintentionally become short-tempered even though they try not to.
The best way for an ESFJ to overcome their sadness is by actually accepting that they are unhappy. Realizing that they are sad and striving to figure out why is important. Once the ESFJ accepts that they cannot help everyone and tries to release the self-blame, things will get much better. Realizing that their loved ones will not abandon them just because they failed, is all the ESFJ really needs. Sharing these feelings with people is something the ESFJ may struggle with, but it is necessary.
Even though ISTPs aren’t often outwardly emotional, they may tend to have a unique sadness for animals or the weak being harmed. They may feel saddened when they are around a close friend who is hurting or in pain. An overwhelming feeling of confinement or stress will often make the ISTP feel frustrated. Feeling like the people they care about are misunderstanding them is upsetting to the ISTP.
ISTPs are not extremely emotional individuals and often appear stoic and unaffected by sadness. They will brush off their discomfort and attempt to find something exciting to get their mind off of it. Keeping themselves active and having fun is a natural coping mechanism for the ISTP. They will often isolate themselves from others and withdraw.
The best way for an ISTP to overcome sadness is by keeping busy. They do best if they can find positive things in their lives to make them happy and focus on those things. Taking some time to wallow in the things that are upsetting them, may be good for the ISTP. Reaching out to friends after a short time alone, is a good way to keep from becoming more upset. That being said ISTPs often handle sadness very well and are capable of letting go.
ESTPs become sad when they feel like the people around them do not truly care for them. Feeling alone and unloved is very upsetting for an ESTP. Feeling like they are losing people or being alienated from loved ones is something that bothers the ESTP. They want to have people around them who trust and care for them, and they want to feel appreciated.
They will often shut people out that are making them sad, and strive to find new friends to make them feel better. Exploring new possibilities and attempting to experience as many thrills as possible. ESTPS may attempt to ignore their sadness by being constantly on the move.
The best way to overcome this sadness is for the ESTP to understand that not everyone is perfect. Sometimes they can push others way when it is not necessary. It is best to accept their sadness and try to be okay with it, before they try to party it away. Enjoying new experiences is a good distraction, but healing also requires understanding.
ISFPs often feel sad when they see people hurting or in physical or emotional pain. Seeing those who are weak, like animals or children, suffering is something that deeply affects the ISFP. They dislike cruelty in the world and may be very hurt when they see constant injustices around them. If people attack or are insensitive towards the ISFP it will upset them. They enjoy a harmonious environment and enjoy the positive things in life.
ISFPs will often retreat inward when they feel sad. They will try to cope by using music or reading, possibly exploring nature by themselves. They distance themselves from the things that are causing them pain, and try to avoid feeling that way if they can. They are sensitive individuals with a deep capacity for caring.
The best way for the ISFP to relieve their sadness is by retreating, but not doing it alone. Finding a close friend of loved one to connect with, will help the ISFP greatly. Having that special someone to make them feel loved and understood is the best way to heal and overcome whatever is bothering them.
ESFPs often feel sad if the people around them are neglecting them. If they feel like others do not love or care about them, this hurts the ESFP greatly. Seeing other people in pain and being unable to help also upset the ESFP. Seeing animals or babies hurting is devastating to them. They want to feel loved and appreciated, and also hate seeing other people being neglected as well.
The ESFP will probably outwardly express this sadness and attempt to find people to vent to. They will try to seek comfort in those closest to them and reach out for help. They want to feel like they have people who will comfort them and put them at east when they are sad. Expressing this sadness is the only way the ESFP knows how to deal with it.
The best way for the ESFP to overcome their sadness is by not dwelling on it for too long. Venting to loved ones is a great start towards getting over what is bothering them, but it is not the end of the road. They need to be careful not to allow themselves to sink into their sadness. Going out with friends and trying to see the positives in their lives is a great way to feel better.
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